When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
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A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. "Dear husband, you wouldn't believe what happened. Read more » |
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Who lit the fuse on your tampon? Support Cannibalism — EAT ME! God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier. I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit. I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way. Keep honking while I reload. Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G? Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park. EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later. Read more » |
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An old guy walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of forty-year old Scotch. The bartender, not wanting to give up the good liquor, pours a shot of ten-year Scotch and figures that the guy won't be able to tell the difference. The guy downs the Scotch and says: "This Scotch is only ten years old! I specifically asked for forty-year old Scotch." Read more » |
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15- You spend the night in jail for cow-tipping — with your Oldsmobile. |
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It smells like carrots. |
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Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?" calls one of the nuns. "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door. Read more » |
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Roberto |
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A nun falling down the stairs! |
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Fuck me if I'm wrong, but I think you want to have sex with me. |
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